MISSING YOU ALREADY, PART 3

If anyone is starting a diet after a lovely holiday season of stuffing your face, I thought you'd enjoy these "Odes to the things I can no longer enjoy on my damned diet" by Colin Nissan.

Goodbye, full-fat ice cream
Ice cream, you are my Tin Man. I will miss you most of all. I may be able to fool my eyes with low fat and fro-yo, but I will never fool my heart, or my taste buds...they know deceit when it crosses their path. Your rich, frozen pints have successfully numbed countless troubles in my life, and I thank you for that. Unfortunately, you are also responsible for the satellite ass that seems to have formed on my original one.