TRANNY WRECK

Remember when you were a kid and begged your mother to let you wear high heels? Chances are she gave you the standard-issue response, "You're too young; wait until you're older." It's good advice, but it could use some amending. How about....."You're too young. There will be a period of your life from maybe, 23 until 45, that you can, and should, teeter around in shoes that are impractical, overpriced, yet fabulous and sexy as hell. But after that (and this is the really important bit) YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR SUPER HIGH HEELS!!! I say this so emphatically because on a recent buying trip to Bergdorf's with a client, I witnessed gaggles of women in their late 50's to mid 60's hobbling around in 7" heels. That's right, SEVEN INCHES. It took everything I had not to approach the woman in this picture and say, "Ma'am, you really don't want to do this. Please take off those tranny shoes and let's go find you a sensible pair of 2" Ferragamos. If you won't do it for your arthritic ankles, do it for your grandchildren." Class is sexier anyway, so act your age, not your shoe size.